A whole new year.......

010110... the beginning of the new year.... reflecting on 2009...... it feels as if the whole year has just slipped by me..... time really passes by at a rapid rate even when you are not accomplishing much.... my unfulfilled year passes by with the endless clinics, reports, shopping, traveling... it felt like a run on the treadmil....

There has been some accomplishments to speak of.... I obtained my masters degree, published a paper in a peer reviewed journal, learnt the techniques to lyrics writing, managed to pick up minimal bits and pieces of japanese....... these however, felt minute...... perhaps expectations of others are daunting me.... perhaps expectations I have of myself are crushing me.... perhaps I need a change to my routine life......

2010... a year of change maybe..... I aim to learn to live life less aimlessly ..... I hope to live every moment fruitfully... I hope for more interesting things to come by..... taking a small step towards a fulfilling 2010!!!!!Happy new year!!!!!

盲目人生

人生真是莫名其妙﹐ 一些奮鬥不止的人最終撲來個空﹐ 一些隨波逐流﹐毫無目標的人卻能因機緣巧合擁有屬於他的一片天。人生啊﹐人生﹐ 難道你就像愛神丘比特盲目了嗎?李想與抱負到底是什麼?它們真的能指引人生嗎?最終得到的李想是否真是夢寐以求的?或只是一個盲目追尋﹐毫無意義的結果?

The Hospital

They all say "人生如戲"... how apt it is.... I really feel so.... the dramas are just amplified versions of our daily lifes.... I have been catching this political thriller called "The Hospital" recently....other then the impossibility of a doctor like su yi hua who is cute, sweet, great doctor, dedicated, devoted in the real world... (oh please... it is hard to even find a doctor who is true to his occupation and join the profession just for the aim of saving lifes let alone all the other good points......oh well... like I say.... amplified in dramas.....)the show is scary and scarily real.... the politics of the medical world... the effects power does to people... the reality that no one can be a bystander in a political game...the bystander will definitely get involved sometime somehow eventually..... at the end of the day... we are all chess pieces of a huge political game....we are all selfish creatures.... actions are carried out basically just for our means.... the great chess masters always prevail......learning to play the game well I guess, is really the main way to survive in our scary scary world!!!!

(Sigh... drama drama is bad for my psyche... I should just stick to idol dramas... :P)

Anticipating the new year.....

Bored bored bored..... I have finally completed the full draft of my thesis and submitted it to my sup.... life is like a standstill for me now.... having spent days and nights (literally) on writing up this piece that is going to determine the value of my 2 years in NUS.... right now... I have no idea what to do with my time!!! I can't let go and enjoy for I am still waiting for my sup's reply (my suspicion... I have loads to amend since the results did not happen the way we anticipated....fear fear fear.....)..... I can't continue to work on anything since the draft is completed..... all I can do now is wait wait wait.... anticipate anticipate anticipate and allow time to pass by.....

The Sunday Times has voted Lee Hom's musicman concert as the best concert in Singapore in the year 2008!!! So glad that I made the choice to attend such a great concert!!! Way to go Lee hom!!!!!

The new year is approaching....will it be a year of change??? A year of stagnation??? I have no idea... but I guess it is going to be a year of decisions.... a year where I will have to make many major life decisions... a chance to put my life in place..... hope that I will get through it well!!!

心 跳

心 跳
词 : 王力宏 易家扬
曲 : 王力宏

想跟我吵架 我没那么无聊
不懂得道歉 我没那么聪明
好想要回到我们的塬点

你又在哭泣 我给不了安慰
我又在摇头 有那么点后悔
爱情的发展已难以回头却无法往前走

但身不由己出现在胸口
两颗心能塞几个问号
爱让我们流多少眼泪

你的眼神充满美丽带走我的心跳
你的温柔如此靠近带走我的心跳
逆转时光到一开始
能不能给一秒
等着哪一天你也想起
那悬在记忆中的美好

Melancholic lyrics... an MV showing "forced by circumstances, inability to make the preferred choice" .... so frequent... so frequent are we all entangled in this web of circumstances.... but isn't that what life is all about?? Making difficult choices in the considerations of circumstance... "forced by circumstances".. isn't that a lame excuse for the unwillingness to bear the consequences of the preferred choice?? Wondering which is harder to bear, the consequences or the shattered emotions attached with the inability to attain what you want.... I wonder.... I really wonder......perhaps at the end of the day.... it isn't really what you wanted....

Happy birthday... old girl...... :)

30 years, 1560 weeks, 10920 days,655200 hours, 39312000 minutes, 3258720000 secs..... this is how long I have lived on this wonderful Earth we called our home..... and in the day that just passed, I celebrated my entry to the next milestone of my life.....

Looking back into history.... it really felt like yesterday when I was still a little girl, perhaps it is my poor memory, but I really don't remember how so much time has lapsed by..... the turbulent teenage years, the wild twenties just didn't seemed to apply.... it went by peacefully and quietly.... other then the jadedness that came after stepping into the workplace that had changed my perspective of the world since, really nothing much else had changed....

At thirty, I am still a student.... still a dependent..... no asserts..... no concrete plan for the future..... never had a serious, stable relationship....with such a portfolio, society (esp. in the one that I am currently living in where results are the measurements of a person's accomplishments) is probably frowning on me..... frankly speaking, personally, I am extremely comfortable with it.... I am perfectly happy living in a world of my own.....to live out my life in the pace that I like..... yet, I am experiencing stress from societal perceptions.....maybe at this mature age, I should stop living such a free-sprited life and start learning how to balance between the two? That is going to be such a challenge.....

Celebrations... celebrations.... celebrations...... I always felt really loved during my birthday...... numerous greeting messages..... numerous dining and meet-up sessions..... it actually felt like chinese new year.... haha..... so far, there had been a tea session, a lunch, a dinner and am anticipating the 2 dinners, a ride on the singapore flyer and maybe a spa trip coming by next week....... the great thing of growing old.... you get to know more and more people.... so the number of celebrations just increases as time goes by... haha..... I am really thankful for all my friends who thought on me on this day...... a big thank you to you all!!! :)

Final words: A warm welcome to the next decade of my life.... please do not give me too much trouble as this will likely be the most turbulent period..... I am embracing you with open arms....Happy 30th Birthday, old girl.......

RATS..... it is the new year!!!

The lunar new year... the year of the rat is here...... for the past few days of the new year... I have been doing nothing but feasting...... I am amazed that I can fit so much food into my tummy (I shall never do this again,.... the end result is a churning tummy... tummyache and probably a few additional pounds..... sigh!!)worn green (I am really green!!!) on the first day as according to one of my ex colleague, those who fan tai sui this year should be wearing green........

Also, taking the chance to make several resolutions for this new year as I am going into another milestone of my life this year....

I want to:

1)love myself a little more and have more confidence in myself...I shall stop envying others and try to be like them.... going to learn to be myself and treasure all my good points.....

2) to be a little more organsied..... the disorganised state of mind is distressing me... the therapy to that would be I guess.... to learn to be a bit more organised......

3) to be more mature, face up with issues and stop being so ambivalent..... this is going to be the toughest.... however, I think I should start learning how to plan for myself and stop being in such a free-spirited state...

4) rest more.... stop watching so much serials at night and really SLEEP more!!!

5) engage and enjoy what every I am going and live life to its fullest!!! :)

HAPPY RAT YEAR TO ALL AND MAY ALL YOURS AND MY RESOLUTIONS COME TRUE!!!